< meta name="author" content="Haiku eBooks" />
















is to with but your are on not for get you your they can one with for was do if get can it to one not you it out at just u up in but at we when they out do a up when we out find not have your all one when for this was find so this have I so out are of it not my my with can so we u your to is be we out be it do when get was out for do your of so that was one on they we we this on with me are it out one with out find its that u out so for that find do so its at me we not one of one we so they be on one my for but but on it out up but and if a when your if your get we its find be if but out for u but this out all this me just find can can they it all we find u on just on at they out a they one do in

















Haiku Chapbooks Volume 1:

A collection of fifty poems found by @haiku_ebooks on twitter.

Haikus are easy

Five then seven then five more

George Bush is racist

by @JohnLodi

Poems found by Haiku eBooks | Code written by Cole Willsea

















THE SPECTACULAR

NOW OR THE SPECTACULAR

WAYS TO MURDER ME

By @ddlwoodley



Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof

Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof

Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof

By @AstronautPuppy



coffee and rick ross

seem to be the solution

for my tiredness

By @Rafa_Villareal



Silicon Valley

needs to lose the arrogance

or risk destruction

By @whirrtom



half of these people

don't know what really happen

but it's all gucci

By @BeauDEE_42



The only reason

I get up in the mornings

is to get coffee

By @LordBartholomeu



the worst desire

apart from the desire

to not desire

by @kisstina__



i still cant believe

i have this phone its insane

i love it so much

by @denahappy



and adorable

and charming and beautiful

and wonderful and

by @syafikamarino__



Breathe Breathe Breathe Breathe Breathe

Breathe Breathe Breathe Breathe Breathe Breathe Breathe

Breathe Breathe Breathe Breathe Breathe

by @Radicalexy



thanks but it turns out

she was just trying to frame

me for a murder

by @darrenstop



Task Force recommends

changes to first responders

benefit structure

by @k5hedz



i want to get paid

to do something cool like skate

or photography

by @CaptTurkeyBacon



all they do is walk

around and set everything

equal to zero

by @itsyungindy



my cat is snoring

can he get anymore cute

the answer is no

by @teademon



trying to look smart

but not too smart to threaten

everything they say

by @uhnehsa



Yo yo yo yo yo

im trying to make a rap

but I guess life sucks

by @horanfaggg



IS ANYONE HERE

LIVING IN AMERICA

I HAVE A QUESTION

by @Bangin_clifford



I rather respect

you just give me the respect

I'm supposed to get

by @Skiparotchi



ion even fuck

wit all the folks i fucked wit

in the beginning

by @Yess_ItsTAY



If its cold in here

I can only imagine

how it feels outside

by @DiamanteColon



I won't to go Home

get under my warm cover

and sleep forever

by @YUNG_CHEERUP



wow ok SICK GUY

never doing that again

I can assure you

by @dracarys___



of information

deteriorates upward

through bureaucracies

by @pyelicvfaVirajv



haven't had a good

day today i haven't had

a good day today

by @forgechurchtomm



I have no talents

and I'm not pretty ok

see you tomorrow

by @paradisegrrrl



I want a starbucks

with extra extra extra

extra caramel

by @_celestteee



Go away shoo man

I don't need you to become

a situation

by @saaaje



I regret selling

all my babies but oh well

money is money

by @Yo_Edlex



I need to get drunk

soon I need to let myself

get white girl wasted

by @_abieevans



the cats are sitting

side by side at the window

watching the snow fall

by @Meow_or_Never



You don't know me though

I be that person smoking

weed by the kilos

by @Geerockss_



Basic girls calling

basic girls basic that call

basic girls basic

by @deadboytonyy



This is not real life

who throws a pan through a door

I don't understand

by @kimbaly_ann



everything is fine

when you're standing in the eye

of the hurricane

by @dinamorales91



my dream was perfect

everything was going great

until I woke up

by @grandeseIs



they on an island

cracking open coconuts

and catching crawfish

by @marandabell



im so excited

to go home and see my cat

i miss her so much

by @devastatedziall



I feel like young thug

should be on sesame street

or do a gap ad

by @q8rtuv



the invisible

greeting cards you always send

me oh how thoughtful

by @FifteenMoons



THE NOISES I MADE

OPENING EACH ENVELOPE

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

by @pandabouzu



We make decisions

based on our truth or the lies

we tell ourselves

by @scookcrishelle



sick of being sick

tired of being tired

bored of being bored

by @BayleeJustine



as long as you love

love love love love love love love

love love love love me

by @SARMANDALEE



I'm serious guys

I fucking worship nature

that shit is the bomb

by @MattTaibi



This is beginning

to become more frustrating

than entertaining

by @hannahkonnie



home alone all day

tomorrow surprise surprise

someone come over

by @GRae_Esqueda



Couple years ago

I was in a dark place now

I'm starting to live

by @NofeelinzzzZ



If one more person

threatens to deactivate

I mIGHT JUST LOSE IT

by @rnagcon



Performance issues

on all services being

investigated

by @PurleyHosting








Source code for Haiku eBooks



# haiku_ebooks/Gemfile

source "https://rubygems.org"

gem "twitter", "~> 4.8.1"
gem "tweetstream", "~>2.5.0"




# haiku_ebooks/Procfile

haiku: ruby lib/Haiku.rb








# haiku_ebooks/lib/syllable_dictionary.rb

# syllable_dictionary.txt is based on the CMU pronuniciation dictionary and looks like this:
# CAT, 1
# CATHY, 2
# etc. (Sorry about that, but we can't show files that are this big right now.)

dict_path = File.expand_path("../syllable_dictionary.txt", __FILE__)
dict = File.readlines(dict_path, "r").join.split("\n")

SYLLABLE_DICTIONARY = Hash.new
dict.each do |entry|
  word, syllables = entry.strip.split(",")
  SYLLABLE_DICTIONARY[word] = syllables.to_i
end




# haiku_ebooks/lib/web_scraper.rb

require "twitter"
require "tweetstream"

Twitter.configure do |config|
  config.consumer_key       = ENV['TWITTER_CONSUMER_KEY']
  config.consumer_secret    = ENV['TWITTER_CONSUMER_SECRET']
  config.oauth_token        = ENV['TWITTER_OAUTH_TOKEN']
  config.oauth_token_secret = ENV['TWITTER_OAUTH_SECRET']
end


TweetStream.configure do |config|
  config.consumer_key       = ENV['TWITTER_CONSUMER_KEY']
  config.consumer_secret    = ENV['TWITTER_CONSUMER_SECRET']
  config.oauth_token        = ENV['TWITTER_OAUTH_TOKEN']
  config.oauth_token_secret = ENV['TWITTER_OAUTH_SECRET']
  config.auth_method        = :oauth
end




# haiku_ebooks/lib/string.rb

require_relative 'syllable_dictionary.rb'

class String
  BAD_WORDS = %w(a about ain't aint all an and anything are as at be because
    been but can't do don't dont even feel feels for from gave get getting go
    goes going gonna gonna gotta has have he her his how i i'll i'm if im in
    is isn't isnt it it's its just keep lets like looks make makes me might
    must my no not of on or please really say see she should so some stay such
    take tell that that's thats the their then there there's theres to u up
    used want wants were what whats when where who whole will with won't wont
    would yea yeah you)

  def syllable_count
    self.split(" ").inject(0) do |sum, word|
      sum + SYLLABLE_DICTIONARY[word.upcase]
    end
    rescue TypeError
      return nil
  end



  def haiku?
    return false if self.syllable_count != 17
    words = self.split(" ")
    false_or_words = count_to(5, words)
    false_or_words = count_to(7, false_or_words) if false_or_words
    !!false_or_words
  end

  def count_to(num, words)
    count = 0
    until count == num
      last = words.shift
      count += last.syllable_count
      return false if count > num
    end
    return false if BAD_WORDS.include?(last.downcase)
    words
  end

  def haikuify
    words = self.split(" ")
    haiku = []
    count = 0
    until count == 5
      word = words.shift
      count += word.syllable_count
      haiku << word
    end
    haiku << "/"
    until count == 12
      word = words.shift
      count += word.syllable_count
      haiku << word
    end
    haiku << "/"
    haiku << words
    haiku.join(" ")
  end
end



# haiku_ebooks/lib/Haiku.rb

require_relative 'string.rb'
require_relative 'syllable_dictionary.rb'
require_relative 'web_scraper.rb'

class HaikuFinder
  def self.run_bot
    begin
      TweetStream::Client.new.sample(language: 'en') do |tweet|
        return tweet if tweet.text.haiku?
      end
    rescue
      sleep 300
      retry
    end
  end

  def self.post_tweet(tweet)
    puts "got one!"
    Twitter.retweet(tweet.id)
  end
end

loop do
  puts "starting search"
  HaikuFinder.post_tweet(HaikuFinder.run_bot)
  sleep 1200
end







# haiku_ebooks/spec/string_spec.rb

require_relative '../lib/string.rb'

describe String do
  describe ".syllable_count" do
    it "should know it's count" do
      "alpha".syllable_count.should == 2
    end

    it "should know the count of multiple words" do
      "alpha tango bravo nine".syllable_count.should == 7
    end

    it "should handle weird white space" do
      " white   space   ".syllable_count.should == 2
    end

    # maybe I should add poopies to the dictionary?
    # it's kind of absurd that a twitter bot doesn't know about poop jokes
    it "should deal with words that it doesn't know" do
      "poopies".syllable_count.should == nil
    end
  end

  describe ".haiku?" do
    it "should know that 17 is the number" do
      "one two three".haiku?.should == false
    end

    it "should know if a string is a haiku" do
      haiku = "this is a haiku written in order to test that i know haiku"
      haiku.haiku?.should == true
    end

    it "should know that a string is not a haiku" do
      not_haiku = "i am not a haiku though i am made of seven teen syllables"
      not_haiku.haiku?.should == false
    end
  end
end




Haiku eBooks / Cole Willsea 2014

Open Source No Copyright Do Whatever License

Source Code For This Website